Prelude: The Heavy vs. Jinx

TFP: Team Fortress 2, League of Legends, two of arguably the most popular free to play games on the PC.

Jake: aka. The Master Race.

TFP: Today we’re taking two warriors from these two respective games based on their skill set and weapons of choice. Our first battle between these two franchises starts off with the big guns of the group.

Jake: Both carry miniguns as their respective main weapon and are referred two as the main gunners of their respective games.

TFP: Mikhail, the Heavy Weapons Guy.

Jake: and Jinx, the Loose Cannon Champion.

TFP: He’s Jake and I’m TFP and we’re here to analyse the skills, armour and weapons of these two warriors to find out who would win in a DEATH BATTLE!


Name: Mikhail
Alias: Heavy Weapons Guy, the Heavy
Age: 40’s
Occupation: Mercenary

TFP: Mikhail is the Heavy Weapons guy of RED team, his main role on the battlefield is firepower and defence which makes sense considering the massive firepower he can pull off with his miniguns which is named Sasha.

Jake: But before all that Heavy as a young boy went to an assassin training camp so that he could become the man he is today.

TFP: The Heavy enjoys fights as much as he loves Sasha and his sandvich and constantly challenges enemies to fight him man to man.

FEATS
- Alongside the medic, defeated an entire horde of BLU Soldiers
- Has a PHD in Russian Literature
- Contends with Strong Bad, Max, Tycho and the Player at poker in the Inventory
- Has held off various enemies including rival mercenaries of various classes, hordes of robots, a massive eyeball that can fire rockets, the headless horseless horsemann and even an almighty wizard.


‘SASHA’ MINIGUN
- Heavy has named it Sasha
- Effective at Short – Medium range
- 200 rounds
- 4 bullets per round
- Can be revved up before hand
- Fires 2,400 rounds per minute (Not 10,000 rounds like the heavy claims)
- Costs $400,000 to fire it for twelve seconds

Jake: If it wasn’t obvious already, the Heavy’s primary weapon is Sasha the Minigun which according to the Heavy costs $400,000 TO FIRE, well money well spent considering it can fire 10,000 per minute!

TFP: Actually Jake that isn’t true, the Minigun can fire only 2,400 rounds per minute as it takes 20 seconds of nonstop firing to run out of ammo and fires 4 shots per round. Even then, Sasha is a death machine being able to mow down almost any enemy that may stand in the Heavy’s path.

Jake: Plus the Heavy can begin revving up the Minigun beforehand so he can fire when ready though this does slow him down to a snail’s pace.


SANDVICH
- Heals the Heavy when he takes a bite out of the Sandvich
- Can be given to allies
- Heavy cannot fight or move while eating the Sandvich

TFP: While the Heavy is most well-known for his Minigun, he can also heal himself with the Sandvich which can also be used alternatively for supporting allies by throwing the Sandvich on the ground for them to pick up.

Jake: The only weakness to this is that the Heavy will be unable to move or fight back while eating, so unless his enemy is kind enough to not disturb Heavy’s eating, he’s pretty much screwed.


FISTS
- Heavy’s only method of close range attack
- Has a taunt kill ability

TFP: Unlike the other mercenaries in TeuFort Heavy does not carry a weapon specifically designed for melee combat.

Jake: But then again with his muscle build Heavy is arguably the strongest physical wise out of all the mercenaries, so like a man he settles close quarters combat with his fists.

TFP: Somehow though the Heavy is able to perform a taunt that is capable of killing his opponent which pretty much destroys logic.

Jake: The Heavy is able to use this ability by mimicking a child pretending to shoot a gun.  Says a lot about the Heavy’s intelligence. Doesn’t it TFP?

TFP: Actually Jake, that’s a misconception, The Heavy is actually a lot smarter than most people may think as he managed to achieve a PHD in Russian Literature.


WEAKNESSES
- Slowest out of all the classes
- Durability is limited
- Can sometimes be outsmarted

Jake: While the Heavy may look and boast like he is invincible the truth is, he isn’t.

TFP: Indeed, for instance the Heavy is the slowest class of mercenary in the battlefield and has shown to be outsmarted by people like the Spy and even the Demoman.

Jake: Plus while the Heavy is built like a tank and maybe able to survive a few rockets and bullets there are still limitations to how much damage he can take before finally dying. Despite these weaknesses you do not want to run up alone towards this guy.

(Heavy: “Some people think they can outsmart me, maybe ‘sniff’ maybe….I have yet to see one that can outsmart the bullet”)


Name: Jinx
Alias: The Loose Cannon
Age: 20’s
Occupation: Criminal, Champion of the League of Legends

TFP: Little is known about the early life of Jinx, but what we do know is that she recently arrived at Piltover the city of progress.

Jake: What was Jinx’s motive you may ask…create chaos and wreak havoc that’s what.

TFP: Jinx lives to create havoc and have fun, she is not a fan of boredom. During her reign of chaos she challenged Piltover’s finest law enforcer Vi to try and capture her even giving her the location of where she would strike next.

Jake: When the confrontation finally happened, Jinx managed to get away from Vi, and just to add a little bit of insult she didn’t steal anything but left a challenge which was shown through the gaping opening in Piltover's skyline. The lights of the city spelled out a simple taunt: you'll never catch me.

TFP: Ever since those events took place Jinx has caused rampages and destruction over Piltover plunging the city into darkness. Later she joined the League of Legends with her main rivals being Caitlyn and Vi.

FEATS
- Evaded capture from Piltover’s greatest enforcers
- Responsible for the worst crime spree in Piltover
- Challenged Vi to try and capture her and managed to evade her.
- Has held her own against numerous other champions in the League of Legends


WEAPONS
- Pow-Pow, the Minigun
- Fishbones, the Rocket Launcher
- Zap! Shock Pistol
- Flame Chomper Mines

Jake: Of course to cause all this chaos, Jinx packs a versatile arsenal of different weapons like Pow-Pow the Minigun a triple barrelled death machine that for some reason never runs out of ammo, Fishbones the rocket launcher, capable of leaving any target in ruins. If her opponents try to run away Jinx can quickly take out her Shock Pistol named Zap which can slow the person the bolt hits as well as do some damage. Finally she has the Flame Chomper mines which she can use to bid a hasty retreat by flinging a group of three mines where she wishes and if someone were to run into it they will be trapped and blown to kingdom come.


SUPER MEGA DEATH ROCKET!
- Jinx’s most powerful move
- Can travel far across the landscape until it hits a target
- Can do damage to surrounding enemies
- Takes a second to setup

TFP: As destructive as those weapons sound, nothing can compare to Jinx’s most destructive weapon.

Jake: The super mega death rocket.

TFP: This big incoming missile can travel all across the battle ground until it hits a target and when it does the unfortunate soul and his comrades get completely destroyed by the explosion.

Jake: The only real weakness to this weapon is that it takes time to setup which can be used to get out of the firing line or kill her before she kills them.


WEAKNESSES
- Psychologically insane
- Limited Durability

TFP: while Jinx may be a difficult opponent to catch she is not undefeatable as she has limited durability due to the fact that she is only human.

Jake: Let us not forget she is criminally insane which while may work well with her unpredictability it may also prove to be her downfall as she constantly seeks attention and may get caught talking to her guns, mainly Fishbones.

TFP: Even then though she is a force to be reckoned with and when you least expect it, you gonna get Jinxed.

(Jinx: “"Rules are made to be broken... like buildings! Or people!")